Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Making Plans... to Wed

For those who read me on Facebook this entry is probably a re-run of what you already know, for those who don’t well, I’m getting married!  My fiancé, Colin and I (we’ve been together just over 3 years) got engaged last August on a trip to Duluth. He proposed at a scenic overlook overlooking Lake Superior. I have to say it was absolutely perfect and worth waiting 44 years for. Shit, what am I saying? HE is worth waiting 42 years for. THERE’S something I thought I would never say in this lifetime!
After the excitement of the engagement, (my bestie Kelly was the first person to respond to the news, then my folks) I started to get a bit scared. This is a REAL thing; getting married. According to the CDC, in Minnesota alone 5.6 thousand people on the average get married per year and 2.8 get divorced.  2,131,000 got married in the U.S. alone and 851,000 divorced.  Those are some scary stats. I can’t imagine divorcing Colin, of course people don’t get married with the plan of divorcing (unless your Liz Taylor or Pam Anderson).  Then why the hesitation you ask? Well, there was an article I read recently that eloquently explained it. My parents divorced. Many of my friends have gotten married, had kids, and then divorced. So getting married with the possibility of divorce scares me.  Granted if we lived together and decided to split it would still be painful. It wouldn’t be less messy or financially devastating with a piece a paper or without. Then there’s that whole name thing I still struggle with.  I’ve just always been the single girl who’s done her own thing and had a boyfriend every once in a while. Having this big commitment is very scary and I basically don’t want to fail.. Fail him, or myself or the institution of marriage where getting married for 15 hours or a couple of months is becoming the norm. Ugh!
Fear aside, I’m getting married to wonderful man who adores me despite all my shit and weirdness! We don’t have any “red flag” issues, we rarely fight, we like to have fun, and our life together is fulfilling and makes me want to do better/be better. We love each other very much; actually I worship how wonderful he is. For the record I also think he’s super-hot and sexy! (snort!)  I’m not completely sold on the fact he has kids but being with him means being a step-mom to his 17 year old daughter, 14 year old son and 7 year old daughter. Being a parent or step-parent isn’t a role that I remotely want to step into or am interested in. I think step parents need to be commended, for it’s the shittiest job on the planet. You’re that “in between” parent/adult that gets shit on for NOT actually BEING a parent.  So by default you’re pushing a rock uphill. In our case I basically hang back and let him and his Ex parent. As long as the kids are respectful and behave in my home, they hear nothing from me. They ARE super great kids, so I really have nothing to complain about.
So in that vein I have been slowly planning our wedding, set for May 4th, 2016. I figured if I was going to do it, I wanted it to be alone with my man, on a beach, some place tropical. Now, when Colin and I discussed what we wanted to do I explained it just like that. So (my brain moves constantly) when I mentioned staying in a cabana above the water and spending a week in Bora Bora or the Maldives it was a surprise since he figured we’d just go someplace; like Mexico. I don’t do things simply, nope, not this girl! We really can’t afford to fly to Bora Bora or the Maldives but I found that Belize has cabanas above the water, and it’s affordable! So we booked our flight and our all-inclusive stay in Belize PLUS the wedding for under $5,000. The reception will take place in Minnesota about 6 weeks later. It’ll be more of a beach party than a formal wedding reception. We want good, simple food (burgers, hot dogs and all the fixings), plenty of good drinks, and lots of music! We want people to feel free to come anytime they want, so food will be available up until 10:30p and it’s below a bar so if people want fries and a drink at midnight, they can go upstairs and bring them down! Music is going to span 70’s, 80’s 90’s and 2000’s. We will be sharing photos of our trip and wedding on 3 flat screen TV’s plus playing videos along with the music. We think it’ll be a blast! I’m getting excited planning it!
I have already bought and paid for my dress, which I paid a cool $1,000 for. I bought my bouquet for $26.00 online and got the idea for my basic centerpieces on Pinterest; which Colin’s oldest daughter will help me put together. We’ve bought our wedding bands and the trip to Belize (flight etc.) is paid for, as well the down payment for the reception.  What is left at this point is buying our reception cards, finish buying items for the centerpieces, paying our DJ, and getting our passports. The passports and paperwork will be a bit of work since my birth certificate was stolen out of our house in September (I’ll talk about that at another time) and Colin needs to make copies of his divorce papers AND
we both need to get new licenses since we haven’t had them updated with our new address since we plan on moving (I’ll talk about that at a later date too) next year sometime.
So we have the wedding plus Colin’s oldest daughter is graduating next year, senior photos will be happening in the next month, and perhaps a dance or two in there. His other two kids will have soccer games, and dance recitals and I am looking for a new job and then there are the holidays to contend with so we will be busy until wedding time. 
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