Monday, October 22, 2012

Balancing Act

When you’ve been single for a long time, you imagine being in a relationship and you imagine the person you’ll be in that relationship. You look at your friends’ relationships and think about how you’d react to their circumstances, what you would’ve said in that instance, how you would’ve responded how you’d feel. You feel like you’re going to be completely rational, level-headed, logical, and laid back. You won’t have a bunch of unrealistic expectations. You will roll with the punches. You‘d be so understanding. You won’t be one of those chicks who is unreasonable and nagging and always upset about something.

And then you meet someone. And you start trying out this “relationship” thing. And you realize that this relationship is very different than a college fling or booty call, or even the last person you “thought” you were in love with or anything else you’ve ever experienced for that matter. You start to realize what a balancing act it is. You start learning that sometimes you need to speak up and sometimes you need to let it go,but you don’t  always choose wisely. Sometimes you hold things in when really they should just be said and sometimes you get aggravated about something that’s not really a big deal (probably because you’re holding onto something else). And you start to worry you’re becoming that person you told yourself you’d never be....ever.

You start to realize that relationships are work. Even though you love this person, it’s still work but you don’t mind. It isn’t hard most days, or even a pain. You start to realize that you care about something that is beyond yourself and if you want it, you need to work at it to keep it. Even when you adore the person and the two of you click and things are good there’s still work to be done. That work, makes every kiss count, every hug and “I love you” worth its weight in gold. The work makes you love him better and stronger and allows you the patience to not leave when it’s bad and enjoy it when it’s good. Learning this balance takes a lifetime to maintain and understand and gives you the patience to keep at it..
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