Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Sometimes I Just Don’t Get It..

  Billy was a guy I dated sophomore year at college, he was writer for the college paper. 5 months into our relationship, after a drunken night at the college bar, we did "the deed." I barely remember since it was clumsy, drunk, and tired. He lived a couple of blocks from me so once he fell asleep, I got dressed and walked home to my own bed. He called me the next day after work. I don’t remember the details specifically but the conversation veered to what we did the night before and for whatever reason he felt it necessary to mention that the sex would have been better if my chest was bigger. My chest was smaller than he would prefer. My immediate reaction (what I ended up doing) was to tell him that if he didn’t like it, then no more sex and we were done. Which is what happened. I was 24 years old and it’s amazing to me how little has changed in the last 17 years.

Lou and I were actually talking about the above incident and how we sat in my college apartment and talked about it. Neither one of us could believe the gall. However, I am still single and it still happens. I have written about them. The guy who didn’t want to get involved with me because my legs were too big from running, a guy I dated who didn’t like me because he didn’t feel I dressed feminine enough, the guy who felt I wore too much make up, the guy who thought I looked cheap because I wore lipstick, the several who wouldn’t date me because I was a musician, one who didn’t “want to get too involved” because we were in the same program in college, the guys who didn’t like that I had short hair, long hair, smoked 2 packs a day, because I had tattoos, made more money, too thin, too fat, too young, too old..blah, blah, blah. Christian even dumped me at one point because I had cancer in 2005. He said he couldn’t get involved with someone who could potentially get sick and die.. Honest but shitty just the same. Granted I have blown off a lot of that shit through the years but it brings up the question, why would someone say that? What’s the point?
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