Thursday, December 18, 2008

Really? Has It Really Come to This?

I received about 15 of these today…For whatever reason I responded to this one, it’s the last one I received but they are all really similar in content… are they not??

Him: Hi there! I know this might be a long shot, but HOLY SHIT when I saw your profile I could not resist.
Me: Yeah? Try, really hard… ! Swearing is very hot, it’s what I like most in a guy.
Him: I dont really know how to put this, so I am just gonna get straight to it. What I am about ask you may just offend you, and you might just delete this message before reading it all, but PLease dont. Im 26, 6-2, 180, blond, blue, nice body, full of stamina, and living in South Saint Paul, the thing is that I happened to be engaged, and my girl is nowhere near as FUCKING SEXY as you are.
Me: Clue:-NO ONE IS! You forgot to add your IQ points ...
Him: I love her to death and im not leaving her but I need MORE a lot MORE.
Me: Then don’t have a g-friend…Don’t be greedy man! You can’t have it all!
Him: We tried the Swinging thing but it was way to much her and she couldnt go through with it, and kinda told me If I have to do it alone then just dont ever tell her.
Me: OK I wouldn’t share either and lying? Come ON! Did I mention I don't play well others either??

Him: I hope I still have your attention.
Me: Yeah, cuz this shit is funny!!!
Him: Whatever, Im looking for a Secret Lover, not just a booty call, but something more. I will never bug you, call you, email you, or anything like that, you just let me know what you want, when you want it, and ill be there to pleasure and please you like no other.
Me: (Yawn) Yeah, I’ve been told this before!
Him: Im very open-minded and HIGHLY sexual. GOD DAMN your Gorgeous, PPLLEEEAASSSE let me worship your body, and fulfill any of your Fantasies.
Me: Been there, done that, bought the shirt and own the doll and I highly doubt you’re that creative.
Him: If you are in no way interested in this kind of thing I totally understand and Im really sorry for bothering you, and I envy the man who gets you.
Me: So do I! Cuz he’s in for a treat!
Him: Well sexy girl please let me know what you think, even if your not interested could you maybe give me some advise or let me know what you think my chances of finding a sexy girl like yourself who might wanna do this.
Me: Try Craigslist, I’ve heard they’ve had great success!!
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