Monday, August 18, 2008

Disappointed

Disappointed…That’s what he kept saying to me over and over. I let the air pass between us for a moment I finally answered. “OK, so your disappointed” as I shrugged. I’d been dealing with this guy since I’d started at The Electronic Company. I used to have a crush on him, but he opened his mouth and this “zen, hippy” crap came out and I was no longer impressed. I think I was more curious and infatuated by the “rocker guy” he used to be than the man himself.
Apparently he didn’t appreciate my answer and became angry “I can’t believe your just going to sit there like that, all smug” he yelled at me as he pushed himself away from the conference table. Again, I shrugged my shoulders. I don’t know if his expectation was that I would cry, pitch a fit or be apologetic, I just sat there- neutral. His comment about being “smug” pissed me off so now I have “checked out” of the conversation. He then asked if I was “on something and what was the matter” with me and some where with in the complaining he says “as if you care”…
Prior to this conversation it was he and I then later; his group have been on a continuous battle to communicate. Seems we’ve been on a path of “misunderstandings” due to my lack of “probing”. It came to ahead last week when 2 of his manager’s failed to communicate with each other and one of them took me aside to complain about it. I promptly threw her issues/complaints out because I did exactly what the other manager asked me to with in the time she indicated. I told my boss about it which in turn got back to this guy and I think is what led to this conversation. He and I also had a recent “misunderstanding”. He’d asked me to do a series of things and I happened to get one of them confused. I thought I had a through understanding of what he wanted and acted upon it. It also didn’t help that I sent him an e-mail that confused two of these projects. I received an irate e-mail back indicating that I got it wrong and once I received clarification I made sure it got done and on time without issue. I thought that was the end of it, apparently I was wrong. Now he was using it as ammunition against me.
He continued on his tirade, “You will support me, you will support my group until we can align synergies…” “It is not within your purview of your job to decide” blah, blah, blah. “Most of my team has fallen away from you anyways…” blah, blah, blah “Well, I hope you find whatever makes you happy.” he ends. I thought, “you’ve got to be kidding?!” If he hadn’t been laughing when he said that I would have believed him. Somewhere in tirade he explained that my g-friend Kelly would be supporting him and his group and that it was for better alignment and not my job performance. At that point I wasn’t caring and figure it’s for the best anyways. I just was primarily concerned about getting written up or fired.
After we left the meeting and I walked around for a bit absorbing everything he said not only did I become more angry but all the “counter reactions” came up. I “should have said this, I should have said that” stuff. I hate that. I usually am ok when it comes to “informal” reactions to conversation but at work or in a formal situations, forget it. I let it sit and simmer for a bit so whatever came next wouldn’t be an emotional reaction from me. I called P and spoke to him about it. We threw around questions and resolutions until the wee hours.
Come Wednesday I was just plain out tired and worried that I’d lose my job, so I called my boss. She was at a conference and I discussed things with her and at the end of it all she told me not to worry.
Things simmered down a bit and this guy and his group have shifted over. I’ve decided to ignore them all together since it seems that group is a big ball of confusion I’m not too interested in getting caught up in. In the mean time I have written down everything and saved e-mails, notes and the like just…in…case.
Post a Comment