Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Screwing Myself Over

Perhaps The Beth was right when she tells me that I’m probably a self saboteur.. I have noticed that when I get bored with b-friends, jobs, life, I tend to do really stoopid shit that sabotages my situation; whatever it may be.

I’m fairly certain within the up and coming weeks I will be out of a part time job at the airport. Granted, I hate the job like being stabbed in the throat, but it pays $10/hr, it’s what I need to re-fi my house and pay off the $10,000 hole I’ve dug for myself. What I did isn’t really all that bad by most standards. I surfed the net for 15-20 mins. All I have for a reason: I was bored. It’s one of those selfish and stoopid moments that I saw myself doing it knowing damn well I’d get my ass in trouble, but did it anyways. It wasn’t until later that I sat up worrying that I might not be able to re-fi the house without it, or be able to pay my bills. I think I could do both but we’ll see I guess.
I was working with my boss (g-friend Jilly) and couldn’t bring myself to tell her so as I drove home I figured I at least owed it to her to give her a heads up, so I called and told her…. I basically gave her no excuses except for the fact that I am a complete idiot, moron and was friggin’ bored. She laughed and said that she wouldn’t do anything unless they mentioned it to her, if they mentioned to her, well, she wasn’t sure what would happen… Not the news I wanted but at least it may buy me some time to get off of my ass and find something else before the axe falls. The next morning around 7:00 am, I get a call from Jilly. She wants to know if I still want a room mate, she and her fiancée broke up. What?! Huh?! She and her man are having some issues, she’s had enough and now may want out. Lovely…

Then the fact that I received a nice $504. bill from Park Nicollet for my annual cancer screening really pissed me off. So make that a nice $10,504. in the hole…Dammit!

I also found out that I put P a bit in the hole because I didn’t understand or there was a misunderstanding on my part about the “family plan” he and I are on together…I text too much I guess and I wasn’t aware or didn’t acknowledge or thoroughly understand that we don’t have texting as part of our service. I cost him about $100/mo for the past 2 months…Dammit with sprinkles!!! I’m going to see if we can’t get a better deal so I’m not bleeding him dry… so to my dismay we are fighting, arguing, blah, yucky, mess because I can't keep my finger of the buttons...

I’ve been applying for jobs within The Electronics Company since about January of this year and never gotten a thing. Recently I’ve gotten two interviews and each time I thought I’ve done really well but haven’t gotten the job; but they both really “loved” me and my wonderful, cheery personality! Go figure.. I had another interview for a position this morning and 5 mins before it started I get my period! So here I sit ready for my interview freaking out that I might soak through my black and white sundress. Quickly I got up, cleaned up and was back in the interview room before my interview began! Thanks uterus!!!!! WTF?!

I went into the Minute Clinic at work and yep, still got a throat infection and pneumonia. I haven't ran in about 2-3 weeks and my reunion is coming up!!!

I also am starting the heavy work on re-fiing my house...this is stressing me out just a tad...
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