Saturday, July 19, 2008

Lived Here All my Life and I’m Like a Disease..

Wow, what was I like when I was in high school? I barely remember, but I always had a point to make and always did my own thing, not much different than now I suppose.

I don’t like people, so I was never much into participating in things. I tried out for a couple of musicals and was in Oklahoma in a dancing part because I was a dancer and gymnast. I tried out to be a Wrestling cheerleader and was for about 2 weeks before the other snide, bitchy cheerleaders made me so miserable I quit. I was in the choir and senior year at Burnsville took my shot as a writer (I had my own rock and social columns) and photographer for the school newspaper. I also took misc photographs for the 1987-1988 year books.

I did alright academically. I didn’t get straight A’s but I didn’t get D’s either. I was mostly bored and took classes I could breeze through without doing to much. I actually took to writing papers for most of my M.A.S.H. class (Mystery, Adventure, Suspense and Horror). The purpose was to read selected novels from each genre and write a paper using the genres theme. So I wrote something like 9 Mystery shorts, 7 Horror shorts etc and just let a few people in class use them for grade. I might have been bored with classes but have never been short of creativity. There were times I found my ass in a pinch by “throwing the curve”. For example, I took a Shakespeare class Sophomore year and apparently most of the class wasn’t understanding or caring about “Twelfth Night”, I happen to understand and like Shakespeare so I ended up being the only one who received an A on several exams and got a the crap beat out of me as a result of my efforts.

I liked only a few guys in high school. At then end of Freshman year, I noticed John. I followed and watched him all the time. He was into wrestling and baseball. I remember skipping lunch and would refuse to go home on time just to stay and watch him practice. I knew who he went out with and would sit for hours and wonder “Why is the hell is he going with her?!”, because I knew most of the girls he went out with were popular but dumber than a box of hammers. My plan was if I could “just talk to him”, we’d all be on a plane to Hawaii for our wedding. In the 3 ½ years I went to school with him I never had the guts to speak to him. I just wasn’t sure if he was into smart girls who weren’t popular since all he picked were the dumb ones that were.
I did end up speaking to him at the 5 year High School reunion and I figured out why he only chose the dumb ones, because they made him look smart. See, I found out he was an idiot. I’m not saying this in hatred, but he never ended up graduating from our school. He dropped out shortly after I left-5 months before grad. He didn’t quite understand that I wanted him to actually like me, respect me as a person and not a piece of meat that he could have sex with, he certainly didn’t get why I didn’t want to date him for all the above reasons and the fact that at 24 he had a 2 year old. Sad.

There was Brent. He was another baseball player that was a year ahead of me. He knew I liked him and I would call him and chat for hours when I was babysitting. I think he thought I was weird. I told him I liked Tchaikovsky and could play several of his pieces. That I drank green tea instead of pop and I wasn’t really competitive against other people just with myself. His reply was that I was weird and odd. Junior year we “swapped” school photos and I took his, when I gave him mine he tore it up and exclaimed that he wouldn’t ever be interested in me. When I asked him why he exclaimed that I was “stupid, fat and ugly” and he “didn’t go out with girls like that”. Really? Hmm, I don’t remember him ever going with anyone when we were in school together. He’s probably married with 10 little kids by now.

I dated a few guys on the sly here and there, Chris-Dumped him for standing me up at a dance, Mike S-Just too shy, Mike B- Flippin’ crazy alcoholic, Corey- Just not all that interested in me…blah, blah, blah...

I was never home coming queen, the most popular, had the best clothes, was a monster nerd, but I knew that high school was just high school and even though I wanted those things it wasn’t very important in the long run. Granted by the time graduation hit my G.P.A. took a nose dive due to partying hard senior year and the school realizing I needed another requirement to graduate, I still graduated.
I do remember after I threw my graduation cap in the air, while walking off the grounds to my b-friend and family thinking; “Ummm, now what..?”

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