Sunday, March 16, 2008

When Did It Get So Complicated?

WARNING!-This is a long one so if you have ADD or don't like to read, turn away now!!!

The weekend sucked ya’ll and I’m exhausted from thinking about it…
The guy “Christian” who I dated for a milli-second..Met him at a Hairball show last Friday and he pissed me off from the get-go by flicking an ice cube at me.. Ya’ll know I don’t put up with that crap!! Hesitatingly we exchanged numbers and he pursued me for a few days until our date on Sunday.

We met for dinner at Crossroads Deli and had a great time chatting it up. After I was able to get past this asshole persona he ended up being a nice guy and I took a huge liking to the fact that he was a “grease monkey” and worked on cars and motorcycles. After we left the restaurant we went for a drink. As we were drinking he proceeds to tell me that I was/am a clean cut, straight-laced, good girl. Which I almost took as an insult because I’ve always considered myself a bit “rough and tumble”. I explained to him my tattoos, bike riding, percussion playing, cowboy liking ways and he was surprised. He kept telling me that I was “hot” and that I probably hang out in my house looking amazing everyday. (???)) I had to reiterate that I am just me; I have zits, I get sick, look tired and wake up with fish hair just like everyone else. I wasn’t even finished with my drink when he announced that he wanted to go home. Home? Seriously?! I took him home and as we sat in the car in his driveway a strange discussion ensued.. He didn’t want to invite me in, nor did he want me to leave, he also didn’t want to go anywhere else. Now yes, sports fans it did occur to me that he wanted to have sex in the back of the car, but I’m not that easy. Damn people, I’m 38 years old! I can’t be having sex in the back of a car in the freezing fricking cold!?!

I kept asking him what he wanted to do and when I would say that I was leaving, he’d get irate and tell me that he didn’t want me to go. Then he smiled at me and said that the inside of the car sure was quiet. (umm, ok) I should have done something then, but I’m a lady. He declares that he’s going inside, so sitting there embarrassed and wondering what the hell just happened, I left.

I’m halfway home and he calls telling me that he needs to “come clean on a few things” and didn’t want me to “take this the wrong way but…” Apparently (all of which I knew by the way..) his intent was to have a one night stand with me and tell me to piss off. However “everything changed” once we started talking in the restaurant and he realized that not only was a I hot, but really smart, funny and cool…He had changed his mind and now he wants to date me, but doesn’t want to have a “serious relationship” because he’s not good with women and that he may be transferring to Phoenix for work soon. Then proceeds to tell me that “I’m very intimidating” and that he’s used to going out with “trailer trash chicks that are hot but dumb”. He asked me what I thought about all of this and I was like “ok, sounds all good to me since my original intent was the same as yours.” We then talked for about 2 hours about our lives and experiences etc. For some reason he had it in his head that I could/can get anyone I want and I reassured him that I get my fair share but I’m a lady and while I probably could get anyone, I choose not too.

We decided to make plans for me to come over to his house on Monday evening after work. I text him most of the day to verify that he did want me to come over but around 3p I got a text indicating that he would be called away out to western Minnesota to pull parts for a car and wouldn’t be back until around 9p. 9p rolls around and he calls to tell me that he had to cancel. I knew right there that was it. Something was wrong. What had changed between yesterday and today???

I didn’t hear anything for about 48 hours before getting irritated and texted him about being in downtown Hopkins with my friends and it would be great if he would come down. Nothing. After work I called him and spoke to him briefly, he apologized for being abrupt via text on Monday night. We joked around briefly before he said that if I was really going to be in Hopkins he’d call me so we could meet up for a drink.

Friday night comes and I’m thinking he’s not going to show up-just a feeling I’d been having all day. I was right he didn’t show nor did he call. By 11p I lost it. I told Beth and Shan I wanted to leave. I could barely breathe I was so mad and hurt. Beth and Shannon weren’t ready to go so as I sat there I got madder and madder. Next thing you know I’m bawling in front of my friends in public which really pissed me off.

We left and immediately went to Beth’s and I freaked out! Crying and asking Beth, Shannon and the wall why this is happening –again. How I’m just plain-out too old for this shit. That I really thought I could handle having that “carrot” dangled in front of me but having it taken away so abruptly and without reason freaks me out. See the one thing you can guarantee about me is that if I’m not given a reason, I will ALWAYS think it was me. I talked too much, I called too often, I gave too much of myself to fast…

To make a longer story short- It wasn’t me after all. DUH!!!

I didn’t see/speak to anyone for about 24 hours before deciding that this is crap.. Just move on. By Sunday I texted him and asked why he stood me up and got no reply-of course! Than my response: “Just as I thought…When your done being afraid and want a real woman, let me know.” He replies immediately with “WOW, what a statement!, howd U know?” My final reply “Wow what? If you can’t handle a real woman, don’t go after one!”

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