Tuesday, January 15, 2008

The Airport Chronicles

On Saturday morning, I offered to sub at a sister store in the airport. Now, I get really sarcastic and punchy if I’m tired. Boy was I tired! I was standing talking to one of my co-workers when I noticed this woman intently staring at one of the books. I didn’t think anything of it until I was able to see her from another angle…. I grabbed one of my co-workers and asked if he was seeing what I was seeing…Yep, she was licking the pages! I thought initially I was too tired, perhaps I smoked some pixie dust on my way in…but surely as I was standing; she was licking the pages.

K (bending down to see what she was doing) - “Hey, Watcha doin?”
Woman- “Ummm, looking at this book..”
K- “Well it’s not a scratch and sniff ya know…”
Woman- “oh, I know that, I was just looking at it”
K- “Hmmm, well, I have this .99 birch crayon over here if you have a pica thing going on so…”
Woman- “ummm, no that’s ok….I’m fine”
K- “Ok, ok, well I’ll leave the crayon here in case you change your mind… The book is $26.00 if you’re interested; the photography is by a local photographer..”
Woman- “Ok, thanks….”
She promptly went over to the counter and purchased the book and left…

We had a morning meeting about a “Home office person” came down for a visit and told the Managers that we are to stand in front of the entrances and greet people as they come in…also that we couldn’t stand on the compass that is painted on the floor. We bitched, got mad, rolled the eyes, made comments…whatever…
At some point during the day I found myself standing on the painted compass…
Feeling punchy I started jumping up and down, yelling that
I was “standing on the forbidden compass…” and “jumping on the golden compass..” laughing like a crazy person. Just then, I swallowed wrong and started choking. Choking to the point that I couldn’t breathe and tears started rolling down my face. Once I caught my breath, I started laughing; admitting to everyone that that was a prime example of instant karma getting me back for being a smart-ass and a jerk!

The Asst manager also gave us all a “sales incentive” for the day…To sell a painting. In K fashion I declared that I was going to up the ante and sell the giant $152.00 stuffed raccoon they can’t seem to get rid of. So all I did was suggestive sell that damn thing. I tried to sell it to a guy from Kentucky who had a 13 mo old daughter..he opted for a smaller $36.00 stuffed wolf. I tried to sell it to the braggy, old Canadian chic who had a coon hound…she opted for a $19.99 stuffed chickadee. I never did sell that damn thing…Who in the monkey is gonna spring $152.00 for a stuffed raccoon? Well at least I sold a book!
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