Thursday, November 29, 2007



Things are getting better and the light is now visible at the end of the tunnel. Thanks to all of my friends for “being there” and the many offers of assistance-it means more to me than I can express. Thanks to Hensch for the offer upon offer and patience you’ve shown me-I owe you a good leg sister! Thanks to Steve my jack of all trades! Eternal gratefulness to my parents who are and have been helping me to make ends meet and have been my sounding board through all of this! Finally to P-you are the greatness and goodness of what all human beings should strive to become.
I can’t give any details but it seems things are falling into place now and that my finances will hopefully ease up in the next month or so. I will try to re-fi the house again next month, the car will be done and fixed by week’s end and I have my new legs that I’m “slowly” breaking in.

Post Surgery Workouts

I’ve been finding now that I’m working out again that I am better, stronger and faster. I managed to stay at a pounding heart rate of 180 for 45 mins at a 3% incline…all while listening to Van Halen, Whitesnake, Cheap Trick, 38 Special and the Outfield…not to bad I don’t think… I’m still trying to get back to “lifting” the weight I had before but am 20 under it for the time being.
I’m planning to contact Dr Kass in the next few days about a follow up, the insurance to proceed with phases 2 and 3, and the numbness I’m experiencing below the insertion site (my shin) on my left leg. Other than, I’m kicking it in on the working out and my legs have lost 1” on each. I’m thinking it’s the swelling I had going on for such a long time finally subsiding….


Just something inside me lately has just wanted to shut down for a bit and just take a break-reset so to speak. To not have to worry about the time, money, my job(s) and just sit at home for a couple of days and read those 4 books on my nightstand, go see some great music and meet people…perhaps I just need a vacation.
I’m still not thrilled with working at the Electronics Company. They have more bullshit meetings that I have to partake in…it’s crap all the way around. I haven’t figured out though if it’s the company itself or the Dept. I’ve always hated HR etc but other than the Diversity Dept; I have no clue how anything in the other two depts. benefit our stores. I’m thinking of transferring into the Music or Marketing dept after December. I like the people in the depts., I hate the depts. It just feels as if I have no purpose and that I’m just sitting here spinning my wheels…

I find that again, I’m getting myself into trouble at the airport. We are in the middle of a merger and the new company is a bunch of assholes. We’re having to re-apply for our jobs, retake our drug tests, background checks etc, reestablish pay rate, are being put on a new pay schedule and have to take 2 classes on basic HR crap. Unfortunately for me this means I need to take 2 half days off to take these classes. They are unwilling to budge to assist me in working out a schedule. I was told to “do it or be terminated”. I also made the mistake of miscounting and adding an additional $100. to my deposit. I was able to correct the issue throughout the day by “over selling” to make up for the $100. and came out $33.85 over. I was told that if I do this after the merger, I’d be fired. (sigh), just like I was to be fired if I didn't wear a belt..


Shannon and I went out to see one of our favorite bands and have drinks last week. She and I are dealing with something similar and I decided to take her out since she was feeling a bit down. Many shots of Jameson, tears and several beers later I decided to give up on “Mr. Online” and relinquish any attachment I have to any guy that is married.
So that means:
“Mr. semi famous Online”- haven’t heard from him in 3 weeks, hurt my feelings and lied about being married…over it!
Mgr at Electronics Company (Mr Berkley Professor)- MAJOR wuss! Too much sunshine for me and he’s married…over it.
Guy I met 3 weeks ago at Hairball show (Mr. “Are you Slow?”)- He’s very smart, very cool and has already saved my ass with the car. Unfortunately I hate his lifestyle. He parties too much, isn’t structured, ambitious, creative, and doesn’t take care of himself being that he’s in his forties. He seems too easy to manipulate and I certainly don’t want someone like that. So we decided to remain friends. He’s a friend that I can go to a sports bar, drink beers and watch a football game with..can’t beat that!

However, in the course of the past year I have slowly developed a slight “crush” on one of the members of a local band the girls and I see. He seems funny, a bit introverted but is “the consummate entertainer”, smart, ambitious, creative, he’s my age and not MARRIED! He’s not in great shape, extremely hot or anything, just a simple guy that probably drinks straight out of the milk carton just like any other single guy.
I’m trying to play this one logically and practically, since I didn’t with “Mr. Online” and it got me nowhere. There’s a lot of competition that’s also vying for his attention so I’m thinking my odds are zip…but never hurts to try…guaranteed I’m smarter than 90% of them anyway..
When Shannon and I were out he approached us. He focused his energy on speaking to Shannon and glanced at me twice. ?? This leads me to believe that he is either disinterested, or intimidated. Neither one I can figure out… If disinterested, why talk to us at all? If intimidated; why ?? I’m not scary; I’m just a nice girl that won’t put up with your shit …
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