Thursday, November 15, 2007

I Hate This Life-Can I Have Yours Part D-oh!

I’m recovering more and more each day from my leg surgery and due to go in tomorrow to have the other one worked on. However I’d noticed in the last couple of days that my car was not “kicking in” when I shifted it into gear and I was having issues keeping it at 60 mph going home. I was hoping to keep it going until Friday, since I have Friday evening off. It became increasingly worse last night coming home from the airport to the point where my dad convinced me not to wait and just bring it in.
To make a long story short, I was on my way to meet P at the body shop and the car just stopped moving. The engine was running the car just wouldn’t move. So I called the body shop to tell them that I was bringing it in, called the towing company and then called P to come get me. As we waited in the car for the towing company, I broke out in tears. See, if you’ve been keeping up you already know that I’m $7,000 in debt and my mortgage jumped up and I am hanging on by a thread to make sure I don’t default AND I just had minor leg surgery 2 days ago. Now this. I’m pretty sure he’s going to tell me that my car is now toast. If it were February and I had my tax check in hand, I’d be golden, but that’s 3 months away and I have no car and am a hair from losing my house. In my hysteria I screamed that I wish I had died when I had cancer 2 years ago. It would be a hell of a lot better than this crap. MISTAKE! P went nuts and started screaming at me about how dumb I was for saying that, that I am his family, he cares about me and so do other people, that by wishing that I was being quite stoopid and selfish. He held my hand and promised that he, I and with perhaps some help, will work it out. I actually believed it for a second. I just can’t figure out how.

Now, if you keep up with me or have looked in my archives, I’m usually in some kind of debt. That’s part of my life I guess. It’s not debt from shopping sprees or lack of money mgmt but usually car issues or overpaying on my debt that makes me go into debt. I took on a majority of P’s debt at one point and it never ended after that. Then it was my car that was my debt for awhile, then school, then adjusting my finances from a $600/mo apartment payment to a $1075./mo house payment to $6,000 in medical bills, heating costs from last winter and car issues. I’d love to take the bus but the bus stop is 5 miles away on the other side of town and I have the job at the airport….. The last bus that comes into my town is at 7p, my job at the airport ends at 9p.


Anyway, I’m caught in a situation where I need to decide between my house or a car, I can’t afford to do both. So there it is…black and white.


A job as a stripper is looking pretty good right now I gotta tell ya.


Self pity aside, my friend Stacey is currently facing breast cancer….show her some love and sign her guest book.. Love ya and hang in there Stace!


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