Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Why Do We Always Expect the Grass to be Greener on the Other Side?

My mind has been turned to some current goings on with one of my friend’s at the bank… her name is Jennifer. Jennifer’s been married for about 6 years and they have two beautiful boys together. He treats her like absolute shit- and she takes it…no matter what she tells people. He’s done everything a person can do to violate the whole POINT of being married in the first place- he’s narcissistic to the point where it borders on insanity and psychological suicide. The ass actually had the nerve to verbally mention that if his wife died during the difficult birth of their second child, he’d benefit greatly from the life insurance. She goes to work and this slug-of-life sits on his duff, looking up porn and information on how to pick up chicks, instead of watching his kids. So she has to spend a great portion of her paycheck on daycare. Jennifer found out about all of the porn etc when she received bills for his e-mail and phone. Niiice. She’s been ignoring it for about 2 years and I’ve been pressing her to finally file for divorce. I stopped bugging her when she told me about 8 months ago and that he approached her about reconciling. Jennifer agreed and stayed with him. (Insert eye roll here) Somewhere within the same week, he was back at the same old shit. She feebly complains about his latest greatest crap he’s perpetrated on her and the kids… and we are all tired…tired of the excuses she gives him, tired of her using her kids as the excuse for not leaving or at the very least: kicking his sorry ass out. She claims that she took her vows seriously and that as a Christian, she is not allowed to give up so easily. I quickly informed her that because she is a Christian doesn’t mean she’s allowed to become a psychological door mat either. She kept her end of the deal. The guilt???!!! I mean, wasn’t it over when she stopped wearing her ring? In her mind, she’s already divorced his ass…. In speaking with her yesterday, it sounds like she’s finely had enough. She’s kicking him out and in lieu of all of this conversation she informed me that she reconnected with a man from her past that happens to be 5 years younger. I indicated that this guy should be the catalyst to break free of the shitty husband. She says that going forward; all men are eye candy and nothing more. That she will never remarry, that marriage sucks. I suggested that if she find a great guy etc.. Which she promptly cut me off and with “ain’t no such thing…” That got me thinking…. It’s people like me who are single, in their mid to late thirties that have a good job and home but are just missing that last piece of the puzzle and it seems in most cases we’ll do almost anything to experience it, to hold it for just a moment. Then there are individuals like my friend Jennifer who had it, lost it, hurt it etc and are convinced they know what it’s all about because they experienced it and had a hold of it by the tail. Both sides wish they had what the other had…. Hopefully she’ll kick his ass to the curb!

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