Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Snippets of Conversation

“BOB, umm, yeah, Bob Vader-you know, Darth’s little brother?” – Attempting to defend myself in a political conversation with P. My response caught him so off guard we laughed for about and hour.

“I don’t know if I should laugh and hand this back to you or wipe my ass with it…” – a guy in my class that was to read and comment his thoughts about a political paper I wrote.

“The answer is Chocolate cake”- What my Admin friend Brad says every time I call him. One of these times he’ll be right-I just know it.

“Sometimes when we touch, the honesty’s too much..”-What a guy at the airport sang to me to get me to go out with him. I said no by the way.

“Dear Apostles, how was your weekend? It sure is hot here. Say hey to Jesus for me! Love, Peter.." -Comedian Jim Gannigan talking about how he had to read the “letter from Peter to the Apostles” in church and that he had make it up because he didn’t bring his glasses. (shit cracks me up!)

“His name was John.” -Answering Ernesto’s question about the name of the guy I had spoken to on the corner.

“You could always add more corners.” -Ernesto’s answer to my question on how to make more money.

“Do you have any Penguin stuff in this store?”- A customer I was helping in the "MINNESOTA" store.

“One of these times I’m just gonna snap and all you’ll find is a pair of steaming shoes at my desk.”- explaining my frustration to my boss.

“Then can I have your shoes?” - My boss’s reply to above comment.

“Hi I’m looking for a Torino sexual, umm I mean sectional…”- telling the sales guy at Slumberland what type of sectional I was looking for.

“I’m primarily looking for a T.V. with an HGTV, ummm, I mean HDTV tuner built into it..” – Explaining what kind of flat screen TV I wanted to the sales guy at Best Buy.

“I think you’re a jerk and I don’t date jerks..” “I wouldn’t go out with you if the world was flooded with piss and you were stuck in a tree.” - To a guy that asked me out by being extremely mean to me first then does a "Sybil" two seconds later.

“Frosted Flakes, Cocoa Puffs or Fruity Pebbles”- Ernesto commenting on what cereal he thinks I am.

“I don’t want to be some guy’s Pooh… or Piglet for that matter!” –Me commenting on why I don’t date younger guys and why I don’t want to be fat and dating them.

(Squealing loudly) “Hey! An OTTER!” – What I yelled in Best Buy when I was checking out flat screen TV’s and caught a glimpse of an otter on Animal Planet.
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