Saturday, May 20, 2006

Humiliations Galore!

Well, let me start with telling all of you that I'm having a hard time keeping my pants on lately....(pervert!) I've managed to lose so much weight in the last 3 weeks that I'm starting to have a hard time keeping my underwear, pajamas and pants on my person! Yea! I KNOW! I'm guessing 20-25 lbs so far...I'm not going to weigh myself or I'll go crazy... Currently I have my strawberry print pj's on and was struggling to keep them on while I was sleeping... It happened a couple of times this week with my skirt at work too. 20 down 75lbs to go! Whooo! Don't ask what the secret is or what I've been doing cause you won't want to follow in my shoes! Trust me! Anyways-Enough of that!

The news o' the weird is that after 17 years I saw X(B) at a restaurant during lunch yesterday. I saw him speaking to P. I just went into alarm mode... My first b-friend speaking to my last, the two men I planned to marry, the mean ex b-friend speaking to the wonderful ex b-friend. I was nervous! "get away from him"! my mind was screaming. I heard P tell him that he wasn't in line and then X(B) repeated it. We ended up walking past each other and I my eyes just bulged out of their sockets.. (subtlety-not my forte!) P asked if someone broke my leg or something and I explained who that was and that yes, he did recognize me. P smirked and said "Really?" I looked back at X(B) and was mortified. He looked awful. He gained a lot of weight (who hasn't!), he was partially bald and didn't look (to me anyway) in the best of health. The foremost thought in my mind was"Wow, sure glad I wasn't stuck married to that!"(Keep in mind that we were planning on getting married and I broke up with him on Valentine's Day. So he isn't going to exactly be happy to see me!) As P and I walked back to the office, I kept going on about it. I have to tell you that P has a way of putting it into perspective for me.

After I kept going on about it he finally looks at me and says, "if you were happily married to him, it wouldn't matter". I made a face. "Really? I've gained weight, do you look at me any differently or love me or think less of me as a person because of it? Do you think I think of you any differently because you gained weight?" Now I felt like a HUGE, shallow, dick. I muttered "no". "You shouldn't feel bad about your weight either,you look good". P says. "I don't feel self conscience,I know I look better than he does and that works for me!" I shot back. Later on I told a couple of my friends at work and chalked it up to a "God flick" (when the higher power just kinda slaps you up side your head...) designed to wake me up to the fact that my life it pretty good right now and I've been given a secondchance-hello idiot don't waste it. P and I talked more about it on the way home last night. He just shook his head and laughed. "I think you need a g-friend to talk to you about this stuff", someone to get excited with you about it. I just don't think it's a big deal".

No, I guess he's right, it's not.
Post a Comment