Sunday, January 29, 2006

Feel a Bit...Off These Days

I swear I'm certainly not the life of the party anymore. It sort of makes me wish for my younger, more "sinful" days. Rachel's B-day was last night and I found myself in an alchohol haze, telling a pretty , twentyish girl (who was the g-friend of one of Rachel's friend's) that I was a sad, sexless, fat, unattractive, can't produce, pathetic, porkchop of a 35 year old that has cancer. Yeah, I said that. After hearing my tale of woe all she could muster was, "well, that's a bummer." No shit. I think Rachel was a bit pissed off that I left around midnight but being fat and sick makes you fucking tired. She also sort of bitched me out for not coming over to take all the soups she made for me to eat when we thought I was going to have to go under the knife sooner than later.

I have my "little device" taken out on the 10th. The funny part about that is everytime I call up to the OB/GYN dept they always ask if perhaps I need to set an appointment with Oncology. I always laugh and say " I didn't realize we were there yet." Anyway to freak me out a bit more was the e-mail I received from one of my Aunts. One of my other Aunts (related by marriage) had leukemia this last summer, beat it, then had a reoccurance and died on the 14th. I feel so bad for my Uncle, I am actually considering tkaing some vacation and goi9ng up to Alaska to make sure he's alright. I can't even imagine. So after I find out what my prognosis is in February, I'm off to the nutritonist, Dr Fish and to excerise. I don't want this to happen to me and I've made a few promises to some of my friends, co-workers and myself that I'm not going to have his shit kick my ass. I'm planning to return to my trailer fabulous self very soon.
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